Arif 🖤

Arif was a tall, bearded man with a full head of salt and pepper hair. He lived in the centre of Manchester and would happily spend a couple of hours every night messaging me online. After about a week he asked for my number, I happily shared it.

He used it to say thank you for sharing it and we exchanged a couple more messages. It was late so we said goodnight.

This is where the tale becomes familiar.

That was it.

He stopped.

No more messages.

No nothing.

I could see he was online but he most certainly wasn’t talking to me.

Arif was like many others, he was a phone number hoarder. These kinds of men charm you online, ask for your number and then literally stop contacting you online or via the number they were so keen to harvest.

I’m at a loss as to why they do this.

Do 11 digits of various combinations really give them such a serotonin rush that they are relentless in repeating it?

Has being single really made their self esteem so low that they’ve got to make others feel sad to make themselves feel better?

Are none of them single really?

Are they just looking for little ego boosts

Is it part of the mid life crisis symptoms?

Well whatever it is, it’s pretty shite.

It’s a horrid cycle of being lavished with attention, getting your hopes up, being flattered that you’re being asked for your number, a bit of excitement as their name flashes up on your phone and then nothing. Literally nothing.

You spend the coming days analysing, overthinking and wondering what you did wrong. You resolve to never put yourself through this again and accept dying alone. Then in a few weeks or perhaps months you feel the familiar tug of loneliness and go back online, in the hope that this time might be different.

In the last few years of singleton, it’s very rarely been different.